Monday, September 25, 2006

Hey America – Don’t Pay That Bill!

As an American taxpayer do you really want your government to pay creditors around the world top dollar with your hard earned money? Shouldn’t your government be negotiating the very best deal for the American taxpayer? Of course they should. But they didn’t. Instead your government was so hungry to provide both guns and butter that they borrowed hundreds upon hundreds of billions of dollars at whatever market interest rate the world saw fit to charge. I never asked my government to borrow money from the world so that we could turn around and save the world from itself using those same borrowed dollars.

If we are going to save the world from itself, making it safe for democracy and whatnot, then we need to charge a ‘world safety’ tax for performing this great and noble service. The question to date has been how do we make the world pay tribute? I suppose we could go to the UN and plead our logical case but the UN is notoriously illogical and in any event they don’t seem to appreciate America as much as they should. We need a way to make the world pay without arousing their suspicions.

I know of a wily woman who has just the solution we so desperately need. It’s time to set the temptress free. Right now she is kept locked up in deplorable conditions in the US Treasury basement. She’s basically a good girl. She was good to us in the 70’s and 80’s. Most people who brag at cocktail parties about their six figure incomes have only her to thank. The temptress was called inflation and she made the average Joe a six-figure giant. Look how we thanked her. Oh, the shame of it. We partied hardy with her and then in a fit of self-righteous indignation we locked her up and threw away the key. But our redemption may be near, there may still be time to set her free. The question is will she forgive us our trespasses and work her magic yet again.

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